Conversation

So I had this conversation with this guy that I care about BUT there is a huge question about one of the building blocks of a long lasting relationship. I had been yearning to talk- as in plain speak- to tell him what was going through my mind and how things stood in my opinion. It just seemed as if in the past, I didn't say enough to get through to him or I didn't say anything because the timing wasn't right or I just plain avoided it because I truly like him. He is the most smooth sailing person I've ever met. He is considerate and the kind of guy that would drive 300 miles every weekend to come see me.
But, as prayer would have it, I truly believe that God created the circumstances whereby I could talk to him and he could talk to me.
You might be wondering right now what kind of conversation had to take place that God Himself had to align the stars to make two adults talk to each other. Well, it was the topic of my faith. I am hesitant to say our faith because we don't share the same one.
Let me back track a little to give some context. When I first met guy A, he was a cool dude lurking in my peripheral vision. Some one I talked to once in a while and used to playfully 'harass' as to why his butt was not in church on Sundays. But he made his move- TWICE- when I was not really expecting it and that's when he made his way into my house- Heart: Just enter oh, not sit and make yourself comfortable :-P. We became great friends and when it got to the point that our relationship may be turning from just mere friendship to someone I was truly attracted to, He told me: " NJ, I'm a Muslim." He then proceeded to tell me in my state of shock/denial/you must be joking that he never told me he was either or. I just assumed he was a backsliding Christian and he knew there would come a time when he would have to tell me.
That's the background information.
Fast forward many months later. We still remain good friends. But now, he wants to take it to the next level. He gets upset when I refer to him as a friend. He on the other hand can't stop telling people I'm his wifey. From the get go I guess he made no qualms about the fact that he saw me as someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I guess I just chose to sidetrack all of that because I just didn't see how it would work. He doesn't see what the issue is since He is not necessarily a strict Muslim and he doesn't say I have to change. But in my experience(as in what I have seen, one person always changes and its usually the woman.
My point of contrition is who I am and how I want to live my life and how I want to build my family. I'm a Christian. I'm someone who follows the teachings of Christ and I loves me some Jesus. I want a family and a life routed upon Christian principles. Essentially, I want to live what I believe not just wear a title for show. I don't think I can bear for my future husband to be "okay" with my Faith as long as he doesn't have to go to church or do the things I want to do. That and the fact that there are some things that he deems okay that in my mind are not that keep cropping up in our relationship. At other times I don't know why I just don't say its over, I don't want to go further, this will not work, you can't possibly be the one, The Bible tells me not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers etc. It just doesn't come out of my mouth. I think guyA has done something to me!
Okay, to my point, we finally talked. I just spoke and I don't know where the words came from and he finally understood where I was coming from. I spilled my heart out as to how I feel about him, how I don't think this would work if I don't bend from my position. I then told him that I've been going on the internet to read up on Islam. He was pleasantly surprised. I figured instead of going by what I hear or have been thought in school about his religion, I should find out for myself. I don't claim to know all the answers or what the future holds but what I do know is the decision to live my life as one who Loves God. I just pray that when we both come together this weekend or the next- me with my Bible and him with his Qu'ran, we understand each other better. I wouldn't lie if I said I didn't want him to believe what I believe.